Your Life is Ordinary

Windows. And Bob's ass.
Windows. And Bob’s ass.

The heat came on hard and fast. It’s been 90 or close enough for three days straight, the air heavy with moisture. You’d swear you can feel its weight. Something else to carry. I don’t mind, really, so long as I don’t think about minding. See how that works?

My summer reading thus far has consisted of the occasional New Yorker article, the back issues of the Sun my mother loaned me, and Chris Hedges’s book Empire of Illusion: The End of Literacy and the Triumph of Spectacle. (Our subscription to Harper’s ran out and I keep forgetting to re-up, otherwise that’d be in there, too).

I like Hedges’s work. Or I like his thinking, at least. He doesn’t pull any punches, and Empire of Illusion is no different. It’s about how the cult of celebrity and other mass media, pop culture offerings only serve to distract us from the real issues of our private lives and society. It reminds me of an ongoing conversation Michael and I have been having, snatches of conversation between the swinging of hammers and the sawing of lumber (this is how conversation works on a job site, in little stilted passages that are dropped off and picked up again as the clamor allows), about the ways in which social media undermine our sense of self-worth. Neither of us spends much time online (though myself more than him, that’s for sure), but enough to have a feel for the terrain. Enough to understand that the people who get the most attention in social media spheres are generally the most attractive, the funniest, most clever. The ones with the particular skill of making their lives appear effortlessly beautiful and fulfilling.

I’ve read that there’s a correlation between time spent online and depression, and I always figured it was mostly because being online is a sedentary habit. In my experience, there’s not much like sitting and passively staring at a screen to bring on the blues (I think there is a distinction to be made between passive computer use and the use of the computer as a tool for creativity). But I’m starting to wonder if the issue is only partly physical, and also (if not mostly) the inevitable self-assessing we do in relation to the endless stream of beautiful images of beautiful people and their beautiful lives.

I cringe a little inside when people tell me they live vicariously through my words and Penny’s pictures. I mean, maybe it’s ok. Maybe it’s feeding something in them that can’t be fed otherwise, maybe it’s a coping mechanism, or simple escapism. We all need a little simple escapism in our lives, myself included. And lord knows I try hard to make this space more than just something to look at, something to admire, or even aspire to.

I guess what I’m saying is (and I’ve said it before): Recognize the two-dimensionality of this space and, by default, the superficiality of the entire sphere of social media. Remember that no one’s life is effortless. Everyone struggles. Everyone is, on some level or another, ordinary, with all the ordinary flaws and quirks of human character. If you were here right now, you’d see the chaos of our kitchen, the dirty footprints on its floor. You’d see the dirty clothes piled behind my office chair, the dust bunnies in the corner. No, not bunnies: Lions. Roaring lions of dust and debris. You’d hear me singing REO Speedwagon’s Ridin’ the Storm Out, and then, you’d hear Penny tell me to kindly shut the hell up. Only she wouldn’t say “hell.” (I got a letter berating me for my use of the word “fuck,” which is maybe a topic for another day). Later, at the job, you might overhear my wife and I bickering over some minor, perceived slight. Or maybe it won’t be minor. Maybe it won’t be perceived.

Empire of Illusion was published in 2009, before the rise of Twitter and Instagram and all the other platforms we can use to create illusions of our own. Everything Hedges said then seems doubly apropos now, and it seems to me as if there’s no end in sight, perhaps because our culture’s hunger for illusion is insatiable. Of course, this means it is also profitable.

I always like it when I can close on a witticism, or some particularly profound observation. Alas, today again the air is hot and heavy, my wit worn thin by list of tasks before me and those already completed. So I guess all I’ll say is this: Beware the two-dimensionality of this medium. Indeed, beware the ways in which this medium cultivates two-dimensionality, and, not-inconsequently, foments our own feelings of inadequacy and dissatisfaction in the perceived ordinariness of our lives. Though the truth is, of course, that your life, just like mine, is ordinary. And that’s perfectly ok.

Remember, even, that synonyms for vicarious include secondhand, derivative, surrogate, substitute. There are many, many ways to live a meaningful and fulfilling life. But I’m pretty sure that these are not some of them.

47 thoughts on “Your Life is Ordinary”

  1. “…how the cult of celebrity and other mass media, pop culture offerings only serve to distract us from the real issues of our private lives and society.”

    Sometimes I am reminded of the Roman Empire. The emperors distracted the masses (most of them slaves, as at Rome’s height the slave population was far greater than its citizens). The gladiators and wild animals devouring people were exciting to see and kept people from realizing their own misery.

    I think this is how it is today…we have our Kardashians, and reality shows, and all the other distractions of the “news” outlets to keep us outraged and entertained. Meanwhile, the food, oil, chemical, and pharmaceutical companies (sometimes they are one and the same aren’t they?) are selling garbage to us and earning their massive profits.

    I don’t choose to live vicariously through anyone, but I feel grateful for the opportunity to see glimpses into the ways others choose to live their lives. These glimpses encourage me to challenge my ingrained beliefs and to expand my definition of a good life.

    So thank you for that Ben.

    1. You are so right! I dont watch the news and I dont follow or read about celebs/ gossip ect. ect.
      I read 3 blogs – this one, Andrea Hejlskov and down to earth. Only to learn and share opinions with like-minded. Because I don’t know anyone irl, who’s into home grown and simple life.
      I feel blessed for not being punked in the head with plastic noses, overspending and politicians 🙂

      1. “Because I don’t know anyone irl, who’s into home grown and simple life.”

        You are right, that is another aspect of visiting the great www, we can see that we are in fact, not alone in our aspirations. And we can seek out alternative sources for news and information, to better understand the reality of our world.

  2. I think your cooler then a new pair of overalls, but “living vicariously” through anyone is wasted time.

    Do folks think life has do overs?


    1. …..and I will be happy to answer complaint mail for ya. Especially complaints from those offended by language, in the world we live in today.

      Just an offer!

    1. I saw REO and Joan Jett in 1983 , at a coliseum that has since been condemned. I also met a nic young lady named Kim, that had the same propensity towards low morals and recless activities that I had/have.
      I saw Kim several years later, and she was married to a preacher. I am noextt really sure who I pitied, or envied, in that relationship.
      Anyway, don’t be too hard on REO. Maybe you haven’t enjoyed them in the right context.. ..

  3. Not living vicariously….more like learning from your experience and expanding my ideas about ways to get the impossible seeming things to work. Admiration, yes. Would I (or could I?) live like you, not exactly. BUT, I do glean somethinng useful from nearly every post, and since like minded people are far and few, this medium works for me. Thanks for sharing with us. Beautiful work on the barn (that is the barn, right?). I’d gladly live there 🙂

  4. I don’t know if the internet is to blame or if it’s the belief many people have, which is simply, “I’m not good enough”. My response to that belief is: Fuck that.

    I for one, am highly anticipating the Blog about using the word ‘Fuck’. It’s been my favorite word since age 8, when I had to keep it’s usage to my own mind or wait until I was alone, where I would practice saying it in various ways. Sometimes I think that word saved me from the repression of institutionalized schooling, Catholicism, and my drunk Irish mother. Thank you, Fuck.

  5. Interesting that you started on this ramble from talking about Hedges. I’ve liked his stuff too–he seems forthright on some issues that not many are these days–but then this plagiarism thing came up, and I didn’t care at all for the way he dealt with it. This did not help my estimate of his character. So (and you can see where this is going) does it make any difference? I’m totally with you on the universal imperfections of human character. I’m sure if I could peer into your house there would be things to note about the mess in the kitchen, or the less-than-good ways you and Penny communicate sometimes. Same in my house, for sure. But I respect your character, and what you’re trying to do, and that does seem to matter. Especially when someone is putting out their view of the world. Are any personal imperfections, no matter what kind, equally irrelevant, or would some tend to undermine the message? (Think of the spiritual gurus who are discovered to have been sleeping with their students.) Don’t worry, you’re quite safe in my view, but it’s an interesting question. I’m still not sure how I feel about Hedges.

    1. The Drunk Irish Mothers would be a good band name.

      Not meaning to make light Tricia. I am Scotch/Irish/Native, My family has its own battles with alcohol.

      I haven’t commented this much in a year..

    2. I hadn’t heard about the plagiarism… bummer if true. But I still think he’s a pretty savvy guy and an interesting read.

  6. One of the reasons I dig your posts is that they do inspire me to get out of my chair, onward to the day, and to the work at hand.

    Thank you for being there (or at least for supplying me with posts) in the morning as I eat my oatmeal and sip my hot water/tea! =)

  7. OK, the internet and ‘social media’…. I think it’s way easier to type your feelings in front of a monitor rather than in front of a real person– mea culpa. Taking off your clothes online for anyone with a computer to see (Facebook) is the same thing to a greater degree and I will have no part of that. A friend called me outraged to learn via Facebook that a mutual acquaintance had left his wife for another woman who was now pregnant. Hell of a way to find that out…. Hell of a way to have to explain..

    Then there’s the Buddha’s Four Noble Truths, the first being ‘life is suffering’ or discontent is inherent in our lives, another way to express the same sentiment. So, you don’t like your life and find someone who lives just like you think you would want to, which is what I think you’re getting at, Ben. You read Ben’s book and think what a jerk I am for not living like that and if I did I would be really happy. But you DON’T realize that Ben and Penny’s life has a downside, just like yours! Your post with dust bunnies, REO Speedwagon (talk about suffering!!!!), your disagreement with your wife was a look at that side, and a necessary look for those with a tendency to live vicariously. I think your post did a lot to dispel any thoughts one might have about your life being one big smiley face…

    And one for Hahillbilly… a friend asked if I was told I could go back to any point in my life and do everything over, which point would it be? Of course the question there is do I go back with the knowledge I have now and the answer was no. So where would YOU go????

    Thanks for your book, Ben. My husband and I totally enjoyed it and came away with some good ideas. I will totally enjoy this blog as well; I don’t do blogs either but this will be the exception and I am especially looking forward to the blog Tricia mentions!!!!

  8. Well, I am glad you said this, Ben, because looking at all that material and the pictures you put out at the Harvest class with Heather, made me almost cry. 🙂 Well, not really, but almost. All that good stuff. and blueberries. 🙂 Just one problem with this vicarious living, cannot taste or smell those blueberries or eat off those pictures.

    Yet reading all this good info, you guys inspired me to do weekly work at my local CSA, so now I get fresh vegetables for a few hours of weeding in the sun and dirt, and did my chicken slaughter and plucking and all that good stuff. So, slowly but surely moving to Ben-style life. And I assure you, in the dust bunny and argue with the spouse departments I win anytime, many of us probably already experts at that, so you can leave it out of your posts. 🙂

    Ben and co, stay cool. Seems like you are having more of a heat wave that we, it has been pleasant in IL for the most part.

    Yes, HAhillbilly, ‘be-happy-now’ and keep on moving.

  9. The is a tag for people who live vicariously through others, “losers”.

    Most of the time living vicariously is harmless, unless a parent is living their dream through their children, particularly in sports.

    I wonder how many young women choose to become single mothers because women like Kim Kardashian West make it seem so cool and sophisticated. As if a working-class teen from (insert almost any zip code) with a fraction of KKW’s income could pull it off.

  10. More than depressing, I find social media (and, admittedly, the only thing I look at occasionally is FB so erase “social media” and insert “FB”), to be overwhelming. Maybe I am just a country bumpkin but the sheer amount of information scrolling by on the screen just freaks me out. I don’t know where to look first and end up getting a headache from it all. So, it gathers virtual dust.
    One of the main things that drew me to this blog (after reading “The Town that Food Saved” some years ago), was precisely the honesty, the dirt, the exhaustion, the challenges described (and photographed) so beautifully here. In fact, one of my favorite photographs of all time here showed one of the boys hands, dirty fingernails and all. That is something I can relate to and have always thought was the mark of a “real” person.
    As you say, so much of what is on the internet or in our culture today is about escaping the grittiness of life so to find someone who is not only honest about it but revels in it is wonderful. That is something truly worth admiring and inspires me to get on with it every day. Thank you!
    Oh, and that is one of the most beautiful barns I have ever seen, hands down.

      1. When my first son was born, I gave into familial and friend pressure to have a FB page to share pictures of him. While I understand it can be a useful tool (like computers in general), I think it has morphed into something kind of ugly. I have to admit I was glad it was there a few months ago when a childhood friend looked me up. It was really nice to reconnect with her and it never would have happened without FB. So, there is that. The approach I’m taking then is to have it but not use it. If someone wants to find me, there it is. Not the first time the “middle way” has been a reasonable choice for me.

    1. On Facebook (and I had been trying to convince Scott on this), I think there are many ways to use it.

      Where I found FaceBook extremely helpful is in groups and following certain pages I like. For example, I do read posts by our park district on local events, so that we can participate; I read posts in groups such as our local homeschooling and unschooling groups, our local “eat local” group, where people always share great resources on local farmers, veggie and meat CSAs, whoever has kefir grains to share, local plant issues and questions, local honey, food coops, recipes, you name it. There are groups on backyard chickens, backyard gardens, natural crafts, whatever your interest may be, you name it. Groups on support of certain health conditions. For that type of networking, I am really thankful for FB technology, it is literally a life saver.
      I am with you, Dawn, on the mass of information though, even if you do set your settings properly, and weed out what you do not want to see, there is a lot. The real trick is probably for us, ourselves, to not want to bite off too much, simplify to bare necessities what we need, and use that to learn and make ourselves and the world a better place.

      1. love your perspective on fb, bee. my local gardening fb group is one of my favorite place on the internet! as are some of our homeschool groups, and currently i’m really digging the cheesemaking group for corina’s class. it’s a useful tool when i use it correctly. for instance, i had to unfollow humans of new york because as much as i admire brandon’s work and the people he shares, sometimes the human experience is so heartbreakingly beautiful and/or difficult that i can’t seem to handle it.

      2. I agree. FB is useful for special-interest groups (homeschooling, etc.) and I do find it useful for those purposes. Another way to find the other “weirdos” when you may not run across them in your everyday life. But, I do sometimes wonder if it might stop us from trying as hard to find those people in real life. So, I try to behave as if FB does not exist and still search out “my tribe” face-to-face but am grateful for the expanded view it can provide. It should be just a tool that the user controls and I know many people can use it without becoming bogged down or overwhelmed by it all (my husband, for one.) I think it’s just me. I have a filtering problem, I guess! 🙂

      3. I used to think Facebook was evil, but now I admit to liking it. The trick is to use it in a way that makes you happy. I don’t friend many people or use it for personal relationships. But it’s quite useful for learning and making contacts for things like homeschooling, gardening, or whatever you’re interested in. Whenever something is deemed ‘evil’ (and I have to include public education in this) I think of the pop tart story:
        A client I had, who was a teacher, was complaining about the ‘snacks’ they serve at school, aka poptarts. We bitched about this for the rest of the session and I condemned them to hell. A few hours later, another client told me a horrible story about 2 parents who locked their 4 year old in a crib for over 2 years because they didn’t like her or whatever messed up reason. They found her in such horrible conditions and rescued her from the slow death she was living. Her parents only fed her every few days, usually just a POPTART. What was a poptart to this poor baby? It was probably the best part of her day, and helped keep her alive. Suddenly poptarts didn’t seem so awful, and neither is Facebook or any other whatever as long as it’s making you happy.

      4. I don’t even know what to say, Tricia. You have certainly helped me see this issue in yet another way. And I’m sorry you had to hear such a tragic story. Things like that keep me up at night. Just can’t shut stuff off which is why FB can be problematic for me, I guess. More likely, I need to hide a bunch of stuff and people so I can feel better about it all.
        My brother, who has a diagnosis of cerebral palsy and mental retardation, has always been one of the bright lights in this sometimes dark world to me. He has spent a fair amount of his life watching television, far more than I ever have. But, for him, it is a tool to learn and “experience” things he otherwise will not. That is why, although we have not had TV for many years, my children have never watched it, and I think there are many, many downsides to it, I never denigrate it completely because it can be a positive window to the world for some. Thanks for reminding me of the many sides any issue may have. Peace!

  11. I’m a fossil that isn’t on snapface or instatwit but is happy with the connections I have with real people I see face to face (or my grown kids via phone), where I am interdependent with others and have to think about their feelings before I open my mouth. I’ve worked with a computer on my desk since 1992 and on an organisational intranet before the wider interwebs became available so I believe I have enough experience to have an opinion on this matter. I’ve watched folks hand their privacy over to others, to berate themselves because some marketing dude says their not good enough (…so just buy one of these and instant happiness) and to complain of being busybusybusy when they spend much of their day surgically attached to a smartphone with intrusive ‘social media’.

    I watch one daily TV news (most days) but have learned not to take anything too much to heart as it reached me though the filter of a journalist (NB they’re not ‘reporters’ any more) with an agenda of their own. I’ve also learned in my advanced age (57) to apply the same scrutiny to things I want to hear as I do to the things I don’t because just because someone has the same opinion as you doesn’t mean they won’t lie and manipulate you either. Just because there’s something new on the block, doesn’t mean it HAS to be adopted without consideration and scrutiny.

    Absolutely beautiful barn.

  12. Inspiration is good. Sharing ideas, knowledge and humour is good. Getting lost in somebody else’s life instead of living yours is a gateway to depression. The world of social media can be a way of ‘having a life’ without actually having to have one – easy but ultimately unfulfilling. The internet is a useful resource, but the less time I spend online the happier I am.

  13. Thank you Ben for this post. I´m one of those people who looks for ideals, idyllic places, lifestyle ect. I´m constantly trying to better myself, and my life, as if I could be safe that way from life´s scary aspects (and for me, as a sensitive person, theres surprisingly many). I look for examples, rolemodels from the media, and hope to emulate someday what they have (ironically I´m not ready to emulate what you and Penny don´t have, material stuff, like face moisturizer 🙂 ) As I meditate, I can see momentarily how all this is mental violence I am inflicting on myself. I don´t think I´m alone in this, I know I´m not. I red from a buddhist book (I think it was by Jack Kornfield or Pema Chödrön), that when The Dalai Lama visited in the USA and was giving a talk to a large group of western Buddhist teachers, he was dumbstruck to hear that everybody in that room experienced at least moments of self loathing and hatred. It was a new consept to him, quite absent in his own culture.

    In Buddhism there´s a saying; if you see the Buddha, kill the Buddha. Of course it is metaphorical, meaning (I Think) that if you think that the Buddha is outside of you, you must give up that notion, and realize that the Buddha is inside you. Everybody has the Buddha nature in them. It is your own truth that is important, and you cannot really experience the world but through your own senses and whole being. Another story told by Jack Kornfield is about a woman, whose husband died. The husband had been an beloved person in some spiritual, ecumenical circles. The wife was greefing profoundly, and after a few weeks or months she received messages from three different friends of his husband (representing three different religions), that not to worry, his husband was safe, they all had seen him, either in a buddhist after death realm, or in heaven, or in a woumb already, ready to be born again. At this time the woman came to see Jack, and told him, quite upset, that she didn´t know what to believe anymore. Jack told her to sit in meditation, and feel for what she herself knew, knew so strongly that if The Buddha came to her, and told her that it isn´t so, she could say to him, yes it is! She meditated for awhile, and then told that she doesn´t know much, but she know´s that everything changes. Jack told her that maybe that´s enough.

    I love your writing, and Penny´s pictures, and will continue to do so. I will try to hold on to my own truth as well (and not care if no one reads or answers my comment 😉 uuuuhhh…Facebook is the worst. ). Thank you for this reminder, it was needed, and really appreciated by me.

    1. The story of self-loathing, yes, it is from Jack Kornfield’s “After Ecstasy, the Laundry” – which fits in well with this blog’s title of Ordinary.

      I am reading Lin Yutang’s “The Importance Of Living” (1937) at the moment, and it somewhat ties in with this theme, the empire of illusion and vicarious living. While Hedges describes modern day American society, Yutang compares Chinese and American cultures of the 1930s and earlier, some of his examinations I find interesting, some humorous, and some annoying/arrogant.

    2. I have a slightly different take on the koan “If you meet the Buddha on the road, kill him.” I think it means that if you think you have found enlightenment (the Buddha) on your path in life (the road) you should not be content, but you should continue seeking enlightenment. In other words, don’t sit on your ass thinking you’ve got it all figured out, but keep on striving to be better.

      *Disclaimer* I don’t really know jack about Buddhism.

    3. Thanks for this post. Ben’s post also had me thinking along the lines of Buddhism and particularly Taoism where the the specialness of the ordinary is recognized. It is the ego that covets the extraordinary. There is meaning and value in the ordinary, if only we learn to see it.

  14. *phew* I am happy to read my own sentiments in your words, Ben. I’ve felt a bit guilty over the fact that so many of the readers of my blog admit that they live vicariously through my words and pictures. Also that my blog exists in part because so many people are sitting and staring at the screen to read it. Guilt. I think it’s probably past time for me to write a bit about the hard and the dirty and the weedy and the conflict bits of my life, as grimy as it makes me feel to even think about this reveal.

  15. Ben, On the subject of language, it’s worth noting that your readership, in general, follows your lead. If you are feeling particularly zealous and use expletives, it will be reflected in the comments. If contemplative, the responses are much more thoughtful. You set the tone, but I’m figuring you knew this already.

  16. Ben,

    I just wanted say the barn is beautiful. Nice to see it is already being filling with hay for the winter. I am sure that is a comforting feeling, similar to the three cords of wood split and ready for fall. Still need to stack it though and let it dry just a bit more. This kind of work is never entirely done… it will have to be moved, re-stacked, carried inside, and ashes carried outside… There is an ordinary rhythm to this type of work that is comforting for lack of a more profound word.

    Agree entirely with your post. The cult of personality and social tragedy of online voyeurism is truly disheartening. I refer to the computers in our house as machines and that is how I use them. They are simply another tool like an axe or a hammer and have a purpose. For me, that purpose is to gather information and for use as a tool for earning money. I think most people fall down the rabbit hole once in a while, but am careful to limit this. The time that is lost can not be recovered, and my feeling is that time cab be better spent in other ways- productive or not, but certainly the time one spends fully present in the world with family, friends, and real pursuits is a life well lived. Ordinary or not…

  17. There is no substitute for living our own lives. The online world isn’t much better than tv if we don’t learn to keep it in its place. It is up to us to define that relationship or we run the risk of being drawn in.

  18. Hmmm…. Maybe they say they are living vicariously, because they are in a certain place in their lives where they are busy living the non-homesteading life that they have, but they are planning, plotting, straining to make a change. I know that was true for me. When I first had a hope of being able to keep bees, plant a garden, plant fruit trees, MOVE OUT OF A NEIGHBORHOOD, I read every blog that I could that related to those topics. It became a study for me. I would read about all of the things that I hoped to implement in MY future, and just that act alone fueled me until it became my reality. So, I thank you – and all the other bloggers out there – who wrote and write about their daily experiences and struggles, successes and failures. You guys kept me stoked when my dream seemed so far away.

  19. One more thing! Regarding the F word… I always get uncomfortable when I read it, but I think it is because I just do not hear it in my day to day life. Normally, when I have heard it, something **BAD** is about to happen, so I normally do not think about it as a casual word. I believe that it is important for you to be able to say what you want to, when you want to, and HOW you want to. I believe in 99.99% free speech. So! Be free!

  20. Good stuff, Maynard! The key is to find the extraordinary embedded within the ordinary stuff of daily life, while not comparing your own “extraordinary” to the Jones’s. So freaking obvious, but we all fall into this trap from time to time. Passing this along to the kids, now, that’s a lesson that’ll pay dividends for a lifetime. Working on it, but I reckon a .300 batting average is pretty good over the long haul. Get back up and swing again, eventually ya get a base hit, yada yada…

  21. Hi Ya’ll!

    Oh lord. I TRY to avoid the self-loathing that comes with catching a glimpse of what looks like a WAY BETTER LIFE WITH WAY BETTER EVERYTHING. I know myself too well to get on Facebook. Holy hell, I would put people to SHAME with the amount of JOY and HAPPINESS and CONNECTEDNESS and DEEPNESS and REALNESS I would post. Also I would die every night reading about other people doing cool shit I had never heard of ever and can’t even contemplate. Things like conscious parenting and eating food that does not come frozen in black plastic trays. Not kidding.

    OH MAN, I love, love, love the idea of being able to control ANY TINY ASPECT of my life and/or the perception of my life. I would run with it in a VERY bad way and make everyone I know MY AUDIENCE. That is not the same thing as actually befriending someone and I would not give a shit. I know I would get caught up in it. Please. I got caught up in the second season of America’s Next Top Model. Not kidding. Know your weakness. Know you’re weak. ETCETERA.

    On the one hand we’re social creatures, so anyone TYPING OR YAPPING about living their own true life has my undying devotion and desire to emulate them IN SPADES. Luckily I am wise enough not to immerse myself in too much of ANY world… not the bee keeping and not the Kardashians, either. I now better. I just admitted I got caught up in a show that should be called America’s Next Girl Who Stopped Eating YAY I mean, oh sad, be proud of your curves except you look better when your butt is TINY, just SAYIN’

    Sadly… it is just as easy (FOR ME) to get caught up in LOOK AT THAT BARN! I WILL BUILD ONE, TOO, OR HATE MYSELF BECAUSE HELL NO.

    I believe we are not immune to it.

    And even if all y’all are immune, and I’m sure you are, I am not. And I will out Kim Kardashian anyone ANY TIME and if it takes a sex tape and endless selfies to do it, HELL YES.

    Back in the day when I was but a slip of a girl and it was 1999 everyone I knew (okay, five people) were getting ready for 2000 and the Internet and the world exploding or something and the talk at the time was ARE YOU GETTING READY. And I had to come to terms with the fact that I could not so much as store one can of beans because otherwise that ONE INNOCENT ACT would trigger some total freak out of giant proportions and I would have hoarded every single thing possible to hoard and dug out the entire yard and made a bomb shelter COMMUNITY and lived there.


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